Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Good or Bad Parenting?

My 4 year old son, Luke, loves to torment his 2 year old brother, Logan. I'm not talking about typical school-type teasings like "You have cooties" or "Your Daddy smells like beer and strippers". Because we all know that cooties don't exist and, well, let's just leave it at that. No, I'm talking about real torture. Luke could give lessons to Jigsaw. Tonight, they were both in the toy room (or what should be the dining room) and Luke was teasing Logan again. Despite being younger, Logan isn't much smaller than Luke.  After another round of torment, Logan apparently sized up his odds and liking his chances, hauled back and popped Luke.  I was two rooms away and heard it.  Kind of sounded like a hunk of ham hitting a coconut.  Maybe a poor analogy but try it next time you have both handy.  It’s got to be a whole coconut so you can hear the liquid (i.e. Luke’s brain) sloshing around.  Within seconds of the Tyson-esque strike, I heard a child crying and realized the registry was off for it to be Logan.  Luke came into the family room bawling and proceeded to inform me that his younger brother had indeed, struck him.

What do you as a parent do?
I am sure most “Parenting” websites and periodicals and Child Psychologists would advise sitting the offender (Logan) down for a timeout.  And this did pop into my head.  However, I also know Luke and after grilling him as to what was he doing that caused Logan to hit him, he explained in his own unique, one-sided logic the situation and why he was the innocent bystander.  But clearly he was tormenting Logan.  And after thinking the situation through, I told Luke, “You teased him, he hit you. You tease him again, he’ll probably hit you again.”
Bad parenting?  Maybe.  But in my way of thinking, people (not just kids) need to learn there are consequences to their actions and real-world examples usually hit home the point.  And one more thing to mention, I didn’t put Logan in timeout.  Partially because he was already crying since he felt bad about hitting his brother and making him cry but also because the Flyers were on and that would have required me getting up from my comfortable chair, setting down my beer and walking to the other side of the house.
Bad parent, I don’t think so.
Lazy parent, absolutely.

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